When I was pregnant with Max (and before I found out his gender), I really wanted a girl. Or so I thought. I remember going with Mr. C to the 20 week ultrasound where the tech would tell us the gender. And I still remember the moment we were told that Max was a boy. And… I couldn’t help feel disappointed. But the worst part about it was the guilt I felt about feeling disappointed.
It really made me feel like crap. Like an unworthy mother.
OF COURSE I know that the most important thing was that the baby was healthy. But before I became a mom, I thought that things like gender mattered. They don’t. At least not to me, anymore.
Mere words cannot encompass the love I have for Max. Since the day he was born, I have never spent a single iota of a second wishing he was anything else. I am grateful that he is happy and thriving. Nothing else matters.
I realize that now.
That’s why, with Bean, I am happily Team Green. I don’t have any wishes or guesses for which gender Bean will be. (Although I can’t say the same for both sets of grandparents. My mom having already bought girl items for Bean….)
All I know is, I get to find out when Bean is born and I couldn’t be more excited!!